Not A Flower Person

Word.

Of all the guys I've dated, there were only 2 of them who managed to give me flowers during a special occasion, and that would be my college suitor and my 4th boyfriend. The college suitor / college ka-barkadagave me a bouquet of roses on a random school day after I told him that I never received a single rose even though I've already had 2 boyfriends at that time. Oh btw, I just had 5 relationships plus some MU stuff during the past 10 years. Hrhr.

I was so giddy upon receiving the bouquet that I immediately inserted some of the petals on my Philippine History book. Huhlolz.

But over the years, I've realized that I would appreciate chocolates over flowers. Lol. But srsly, I just find flowers unnecessary.

So for my future suitor / boyfriend, no flowers please. Any artsy, cutesy stuff would do. Books, too!

Clean Slate

I am a social networking whore. Since Friendster began, I've signed up on every social networking sites that existed. I've also tried several blogging platforms and microblogging sites, too. I consider blogging as one of my emotional outlets. My friends are asking me what do I get out of blogging and I just tell them that I enjoy writing down my present predicaments and thoughts. To each his own, I guess.

When the year started, I started to realize that I have to start cleaning my online footprints. Especially my blogs from 2004-2008. They were too detailed and lulzy! To quote my recent ex-boyfriend "My stench is all over the internet". HUHLOLZ.

So I've already deleted my 2 blogdrives and wordpress (my outlet during my post-breakup with the recent ex-boyfriend) and privatized my blogspot (that contains a lot of posts about my college love life lol). I've also privatized my other entries here that contain my hatred for the recent ex-boyfriend. Hahaha.

I am thinking of deleting my Friendster account since almost all of my friends and relatives are already in Facebook. But then, I am still holding on to its memories. LOLWUT. So I guess Friendster's staying, for now. Also yesterday, I've already disabled my Formspring.me account. I dunno if I'll still enable it cos Formspring is so 2009. Heh.

So that leaves me with Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Plurk, Last.fm and this Livejournal. Oh! I still have my i.ph blog but I can't delete it. I've already sent an email to the i.ph staff last year since they're the ones who could only delete that blog. But they still haven't deleted it, yet. Oh well. It doesn't really matter, anyway.

Speaking of Facebook, I already stopped making status updates about my current musings in life. Again, LOLWUT. I dunno. I don't wanna whine about random stuff every now and then. There's a better place for my 140-character rants and raves and that is Twitter.

Off to a good start, 2010.

A Sudden Change, Cynically Speaking

I think I am in my best mood to finish this journal entry that's been pending on my drafts for days now. Ok, indifferent feeling, bring it!

I never really liked this movie cos it's so shitty and emo. Plus, overrated. I'm always a chick flick type of girl and this film just makes me sad. I want happy endings, yah know. But watching it again made me realize something which I think changed my perspective on a ~certain~ aspect of life.

Taking chances was a part of my life. Yes, you've read that right. WAS. I was the type of girl that whatever I think that would make me happy, even without really thinking of the future consequences, I'd certainly go for it. Why would I bear the feeling of loneliness, if there are things that could make me happy. Life is short, is what I always say. I always see the glass half-full, never half-empty.

That specific scene from the movie made an impact on me but in 2 different ways. The first time I watched it, I was all "MEH, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU. THAT'S BULLSHIT" at the back of my mind. Then after having a re-run just a couple of days ago, it suddenly hit me that maybe she was right. She certainly has a point.

My recent breakup was maybe one of the worse I've ever had but no, that IS NOT the reason I'm having this POV on romantic relationships. So what's the deal here? It's just that I suddenly realized that having a romantic relationship with someone would just complicate simple things. Heartache is definitely inevitable, however I just wanna spare myself from that feeling, as of the moment.

Aside from personal experience, I've had friends who underwent the same kind of dilemma just recently, which left me thinking, is it all worth it? Yeah, I know that you'll disagree with me. That why am I being this pessimistic on this idea. I've had several relationships, I tell you and they're all basically led to the same road - heartaches.

I just find it funny and I didn't expect that I would be thinking this way. The once-hopeless romantic in me, is now gone. Or not?

For now, that's my stand. I'm enjoying my life with friends and work. Life is simpler.

Or you know what? Maybe I just need someone who'll made me realize that another chance is worth a try, again.

*LOL EMO SHITFACE IS ON*

What I Am Looking For in A Relationship

It's been three months since he left me. So if you all remember John Lloyd's Three Month Rule in One More Chance, I can now freely date anyone since the 90-day grace period had already passed. But lol, I don't see anyone wanting to date me. Haha yeah, there have been some who had shown their intentions but I couldn't see our relationship going anywhere further than friendship. Nux!

I was browsing several Tumblr blogs when I saw this post so I thought of creating my own list, too.

1. Good Conversation
> Like we can talk anything under the sun. Hobbies, latest showbiz chika, personal problems, past lovelife, how your lunch tasted, anything! Cos I'm talkative like that and I have lots of stories to share.

2. Lots of hugs

3. Can understand my need for blogging / tweeting some stuff about us
> I'm that type of person who would most probably blog every aspect of my life, especially my <3 life. But hey, I now know my limit. Facebook status are not included. I've learned my lesson already.

4. Movie Buddy
> Especially the latest chick flicks / Star Cinema love stories. I'm a big fan of those films. Don't worry, I'm willing to accompany you on some action / sci-fi films that you wanna watch.

5. Honesty

6. Communication
> You don't need to tell me your every minute whereabouts, but at least keep me updated.

7. Drinking Buddy
> Cos there are times that I really wanna be drunk as hell.

8. Letters, letters
> One of the reasons why I was really sad when my last relationship ended cos he was fond of giving me love letters / notes, which I never really experienced again since high school. A simple note, just enough to make me smile.

9. Camwhore partner
> One who would never be ashamed to take pictures with me, serious or not.

10. Love. <3

I'm currently enjoying my ~single~ status, since I've never been single for this long in about 3 years. But I hope 2010 would be a good year for me. *wink*

When Your Favorite Movie Happens IRL

I'm a sappy movie fan. Every chick flick I watch, I wanted that things could somehow happen in real life too. (Well wait, I think I've blogged about how sappy movie fanatic I am, and how I wanted things to happen IRL. But this is completely a different story.) Like how two strangers meet unexpectedly, fall in love with each other, have some dilemma, dilemma resolved, and then happily ever after ending. How hopeless romantic can you get with that idea. But sometimes, I know I'm just being stupid.

That's what I get for being exposed to some romantic novels when I was a kid. The old school Sweet Dreams series is my all-time favorite. Next to Sweet Valley, of course. I can finish a book in just a nick of time and it will leave me with a smile on my face, and hoping that someday, the story could happen to me, too.

I'm also a big John Lloyd Cruz fan. Since 2003, I never missed any of his love story movie. From My First Romance to You Changed My Life. He swooned everyone else over with his smile and romantic gestures. But among his known movies, there is this one movie that broke my heart or let's just say, made an impact on me the first time I've watched it. I purchased a DVD and now I don't know how many times I've watched this film already. My estimate is about 10 times or more. I know every well-known and some not-so well-known lines of the film. That movie is, well, you may have already guessed, it's One More Chance. Yes, it's the love story of Popoy and Basha.

A not so typical love story. It focuses on how two long time lovers broke up and managed to redeem themselves first before getting back together again. Alongside the whole break up, Popoy found a new love. But as we all predicted, it was just love on the rebound. The name of the girl? Trisha.

"I don't wanna be a Trisha on your Popoy-Basha love story", was the exact phrase that I said to him before we started to get things into a more serious level. "That'll never happen" was all he said.

Fast forward to the present time, we all knew what happened. Just like in the movie, "Basha" and "Popoy" are now together again. Things may have happened a little differently with the Trisha side of the story. I didn't accept things easily. Not like the one in the movie who just cried and left cos I'm not a martyr like that. I asked for another chance which was obviously turned down. He said that having a girlfriend isn't his priority right now, but that's one of the biggest bullshit lines I've heard. Cos as you can see, he went back to "Basha" after less than a month of ending things with me. I may be bitter then, but I already accepted things aren't meant to be. Lessons learned, finally moving on. I'm not completely over him, but in God's time I know I will.

This may or may not be my last post regarding this issue. Well srsly, I don't know. Let's just say I think I was already okay back then. That's what I always tell my friends whenever they ask me. But deep inside, I know I'm still affected.

Every book or movie has its lesson that you should keep in mind. In this case, the moral of the story is don't get into relationship (and giving your best shot and hopes) if that person just broke up and came from a long time relationship. And if ever you'll still take the risk, make sure they'll no longer be in contact with each other. Kthnxbai.