Still Can't Marry at Almost 24

I was sick last week, and my sore throat finally took its toll on my body, so I didn't go to work last Friday. My supervisor asked me to present a medical certificate, even though I barely go on sick leave. It was supposedly an easy task, since I am not lying about my sickness, however, our company decided to change our health care plan, and I haven't got my card just yet. I immediately asked my mom to help me get that medical certificate. It was a simple medical certificate, but I still can't get it without my mom's help. Lol.

You see, I am still living with my mom and I can't imagine myself moving out any time soon. We grew up with our dad cos my parents were separated, and we just got to live with our mom when my dad passed away 7 years ago. We had a hard time dealing with his death, cos we've been pampered when he was still alive. My dad would wake up at 4 in the morning, prepare our breakfast and our things for school. We didn't have to do any household chores except for dish washing and cleaning our room. We also stopped getting maids when I was in 3rd year high school, so he's the one doing most of the stuff around the house. There was this one morning after he died, that I woke up feeling sad, cos I miss waking up with a prepared breakfast. Don't get me wrong, though. It's not just because no one will do the chores for us. I will always miss my dad cos I was a daddy's girl back then.

My mom isn't really the typical housewife. She's always busy with work and other stuff. But she taught us how to wash and iron our clothes, just so we can deal with these things whenever she's not around. Still with these changes, I can say that we are still dependent on her. Back in college, there were times that she'll help me fall in line during school enrollment. Lol. Whenever I need some documents for some important work-related stuff, she's the one getting them for me.

I also have a confession to make: I don't know how to cook. Yeah, I know how to prepare instant noodles and fry easy meals, so every time my mom would let me do the cooking, expect some hotdog for lunch or dinner. I love hotdogs, btw. =)

I just wondered about this because there are too many wedding news for this year, and that includes my 2 college best friends who got / will get married this year. I'm sad though cos they are both out of the country, which means I can't be there on their special occasions. Oh well, live online coverage (lol) and photos will do!

On The Hook

I've been a fan of this show since late last year, and there are a lot of episodes that really made me laughed real hard. There could be a lot of misconceptions about life and love on this TV series (esp Barney's FYI's), however, there are just some scenes or issues that will make you think and sigh, cos you can see yourself (or past life) in the story. LOL.

So two weeks ago, I've had a marathon of the latest season's episodes and there's this episode (the 16th one, I think) entitled, "Hooked". Basically, it's about stringing along someone's interest in you until someone better is available. So here, you can be the one on the hook or the hooker, and that brings us to a regret I've had a couple of years back.

I wouldn't really know exactly if I've hooked someone on my strings, cos I'm not an ass like that, however there's this time when I've been on someone's hook -- big time.

I met him during my summer class in college. We became close cos he would usually tease me and I think we were seatmates back then. Even though classes had ended, we still kept in touch almost everyday. We talked on the phone for hours and texted each other every now and then. I really couldn't tell if he likes me, but I was beginning to like him cos he's really fun to be with.

We became busy with school stuff so we barely talk or see each other. Whenever we got a chance to catch up on each other's lives, he would share that he was beginning to like someone that started a month or two ago. So yeah, I kinda assumed it was me. Ugh.

Then there was this time that I saw him hanging out with a girl and that really shocked me. I asked him who she was and he told me that it was the girl that he's been referring to in his stories. I tried to keep my cool and said that I'm happy for him. I knew then that I had to move on and just accept the fact it's not meant to be. But I really dunno what happened then, that I managed to do the stupidest thing in my life: confess my feelings for him. It was such a shame. He told me that he liked me back when we were still hanging out a lot, but it just didn't last.

After that confession, we just remained friends and tried to bring things back to normal. I told you guys that admitting my feelings was stupid, right? That was because it began this "on the hook" thing. And here are the instances where he started controlling that string:

• Whenever he needs someone to help him with his school work, I would be the first person he had in mind. Even though my class would start at 12, he'd meet up with me at 9am cos his class would start at 10. Then I'll just bum around for 2 hours. And this happened not just once, twice nor thrice.
• Whenever he'll start dating / seeing someone new, I'm totally out of the picture. Like he didn't know me at all. And when he'd start calling my house / texting me again, I knew he had just broken up with that girl he had recently dated. And he would totally forget me again once he meet someone new. I thought that it was a never-ending cycle. My friends would scold me for being so stupid, but I just couldn't resist him. Yeah, just like that teacup pig in How I Met Your Mother.

The worst part on that "calling/texting me whenever a girl dumps him" happened in 2006. It was almost a year since we've last talked and he suddenly called me up. To tell you that I was surprised was an understatement. So we started catching up on those lost years, and there he told me that he just broke up with this girl he's been seeing for a year (yeah, that's why he forgot me for a year). I wanted to hang up the phone right there and then. But as usual, I can't. He told me that he still wanted their relationship to work and he's been trying to contact her for a couple of days already. Then after 30 minutes of talking, he said that he needed to go because this girl just texted him and said that they needed to talk. That was the last time that I got a chance to talk to him and up until now, I think that they're still together. He totally forgot that I existed and he even deleted me on his social networking accounts.

Look at how jerk he was, and stupid I was back then. It's been so hard to let go once you've been on someone's hook. I hate these "hookers" who take advantage on someone else's feelings, and just keep them around until someone better comes along.

I'm afraid that this could happen to me again because once you've been on the hook, you would never really notice that you've been hooked by someone. You'll probably be in denial, not until you see those small details that you've overlooked, and finally have the courage to move on, stop hoping and just cut the string.