I an ThisClose on Calling it Quits

"You can ask the universe for signs all you want, but ultimately, we only see what we wanna see when we’re ready to see it" -Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother

So I've mentioned on my previous post that I wanna have a progress career-wise, and I think the universe had heard me, but not in a good way.

I have been putting up with this job for almost 3 years cos I was having fun. I know that every workplace has its own politics, but when people close to you are involved in your predicament, it's actually too much to bear.

I think it's about time to start a clean slate. I just need to find a perfect way out.

Just in time for my birthday

I wanna watch this in 3D with friends. I'm not sure if my office buddies are interested in watching this film, so I guess I just have to drag along my college / high school friends; either way, it will still be fun!

It's been more than 10 years since they've made Toy Story 2, so imagine my excitement when they've announced last year that there's gonna be a 3rd installment of this film.

Oh, what a joy!

A Month Before Turning 24

So aside from Christmas, there's another occasion that I am really looking forward to every year -- my birthday. I have always been giddy whenever this day comes because I feel special whenever people greet me (via SMS, social networking sites and of course, personally). I've had this habit of listing down the people who greeted me on my birthday but I think I stopped doing that when I turned 21. I also love it when unexpected people remember my birthday.

As I was browsing my old multiply site, I've seen several photos of my past birthdays (2007-2009), and it occurred to me that I've celebrated my past 3 birthdays with my last 3 ex-boyfriends. Lol. Yes, I was in and out of several relationships after graduating college but it doesn't mean that I wanted it to be like that; things just happen.

Also, I am a year behind the so-called "quarter-life crisis", and I think I am already experiencing one of its prime characteristics.

Disappointment with one's job:

This is no doubt the number one in my list. Well, I have been stuck in this job for almost three years, and nothing really fulfilling had happened. I am a registered nurse, and my license is about to expire next month, but I still have to use it yet. I am really not sure if I still wanna be on that profession, though.

Same time last year, I tried looking for a different job, but it wasn't really because of self-fulfillment issues, but mainly because I wanted to have a normal day job (just like my then boyfriend). But I guess things aren't really meant to be, and I wasn't that ready yet to leave this job.

I have 6 more months to go before this year ends, and I hope that at one point or another, my career would start to move forward.

On other note, I wonder how would this year's celebration would turn out.

These Emotions Are Hard To Deal With

So you've finally decided to give up hoping cos it seems that you're on a dead end street. But some things had happened that made you want to hate the universe for being so fickle-minded.

You agreed that you will just go with the flow, and that includes hoping AGAIN, but you know that this time you will just play it cool.

Surprisingly, someone wants to join the fun. That simple conversation you've had made you ecstatic. People thought you were stoned cos you just wouldn't stop smiling the whole day. You know this means complication but you know you're not doing anything wrong.

That same day, something came up that made your giddy emotions flipped 360 degrees. You've never been so jealous for the longest time and you hated the feeling, but it was inevitable. You want to leave right there and then, but you can't cos everyone would wonder why you're acting like that. You don't have a fucking right in the first place.

A big sigh with a heavy heart was all you can do at that moment. It's so hard to act normal when you're actually not okay. You know that you're overreacting but you just can't help it.

That's when you realize that no matter how giddy this other someone made you feel, a simple action from him would actually make a lot of impact on you.

And now you know that there's no point in confusion. The answer's already there. You just have to learn how to properly deal with it.

All I See is a Dead End Street

"There are certain emotions in your body that not even your best friend can sympathize with, but you will find the right film, or the right book, and it will understand you." -Bjork

Or in this case, the right song.

Soon enough, perhaps?